Lately I've been thinking a lot about my life and everything about it and have come to the sad realisation that past any material items and/or fairweather relationships, I really have no-one in Life at the moment. :( I don't have any real friends I can trust with my secrets, problems, etc. and my family doesn't really love me that much anyways. I've been on my own for the past 21 years and it sort of gets really depressing sometimes. It's sad but I won't (can't) let it affect me to the point of depression because then it will only exacerbate things further currently in my life. Every day whether it's going out by myself to enjoy the day or travelling to work and back, I notice almost everyone with someone to call their own while they do PDA or simply just walk hand-in-hand/hip-to-hip and feel so happy for them (that they don't have to feel as pathetic as I do) but at the same time I can't help but feel even worse about myself. These thoughts always comes to my mind every night before I go to sleep while holding onto my favourite pillow wishing it was actually someone to call my own... (laughable I know but it's true...). Hope I get over this one day soon (read: VERY soon). :p ~

Over the past few days, there have been non-stop news of some market crisis/stock market crash. Strangely enough, so have my emotions/feelings/days. I don't know why I've been let down by so many people lately and some people have taught me big lessons on trust issues with people. Though the stock market recovered pretty well just about now so I'm pretty much feeling better (a bit) too... I wonder when the next crash (emotions) will occur...

Over the past few days, I've often been wondering what will the (not-so-distant) future holds. Especially when I see on the news of people suffering/dying every day, new countries are taking over, the economic crisis and more. I just hope the future will turn out well for everybody's sake. There are so many things I've always thought of doing over the past few years but study and finance has been in the way but I hope now that that's all taken care of, it will soon be possible. Even making my dreams a reality has been a dream I've dreamt too long. I want to be able to fall Love and know what it feels like, travel to all my favourite places in the World and meet new people and just learn more about this rock we all share. I want to help people whether it's for them to survival or for them to be the best person they can be. I want to take lots of photos to keep as memory/memories for future viewing and sharing when I'm older. I want to be happy and wish to make a difference in at least one person's life. So many dreams... I'm getting excited! ~ I will be there soon (I hope).

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